


"I feel like death warmed up..."

by Ashratherose



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: I don't know, M/M, Slow Build, Zombie AU, and the feelings mutual, armins a runner, erens a driver, im still thinking, instead of titans we have zombies, levis not too keen on eren, mikasa a gunner, modern AU I suppose, probably angst, self harm and suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-16
Updated: 2017-02-21
Packaged: 2018-09-24 22:22:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 19,207
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9789740
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ashratherose/pseuds/Ashratherose
Summary: Set in a zombie apocalypse Eren struggles to come to terms with the fact he's really the living dead...Work in progress





	1. Chapter 1

The smell of sex hung in the air, bodies grinding together, music loud and fast, hearts beating in time with the thud of the base. The lights danced from red to blue and Eren's eyes fell on his prey. Pushing through the masses, he stalked over towards the man, his mouth dry, his brain fuzzy...

"Eren!"  
"Ow, fuck! What the hell Mikasa!"  
Eren rubbed his head, his stupid adopted sister had whacked him hard, snapping him from his dream and stealing away the beautiful stranger he'd hungered for.  
"Well we've got a fucking job loser, Armin's already loaded up the back..."  
Eren sighed, he rubbed his eyes before fumbling with the keys in the ignition.  
"Alright kiddies, where toooo?"  
Mikasa rolled her eyes, and Armin climbed over the seat to settle between them, the small blonde acting as a barrier between the feuding siblings  
"Trost encampment... need to deliver the latest government maps to the scouting legion there..."  
Eren nodded, he revved the engine a little before reversing and exiting the car park. The soldiers stood by as the mesh gate slid open and closed again. He fucking hated it, being trapped inside the encampment. 

5 years ago his world had been flipped upside down. His mother killed and his father went missing, but he couldn't complain, he was an officially sanctioned driver, employed by the government with sole job of driving. Each base had 5 teams, each team consisting of 3 people: a driver, a gunner and a runner. Given that Eren's father was a a big deal, a government scientist, one of the first who worked on the Zombie virus when it hit, given how respected his father was, Eren was able to land a driving job and chose his own team. 

Eren turned the music up, Mikasa hated it loud, but it helped him concentrate and ignore the fact that the undead were all once living breathing people. He winced as he hit 3 men, the car tyres rolling over them, the crunch still audible over the music Eren had on.  
"Fuck I hate it when you do that..."  
Mikasa glared in his direction and Eren shrugged, his route was being followed by the government, any deviation at all would mean a lengthy report, and he hated paperwork with a passion  
"Leave it Mika, you know he's not allowed to deviate, remember what happened last time..."  
The last time as Armin called it was the only time, he'd barely gone off the route, maybe 5 metres to miss a horde, the dressing down he'd gotten for it left him feeling like a little kid, who'd been caught stealing from the fridge.  
"Hey Armin, tell me something interesting..."  
Armin rolled his eyes, even though drivers were allowed to lodge within everyone else, Eren chose to sleep in his car, it was his baby, he knew every inch of her. Given that he didn't really get on with everyone else, he didn't mind, and Armin always kept him up with the gossip  
"Um... oh I know! Jean got a transfer! He got busted screwing around with Marco and they moved him to base 3..."  
Eren gaped at Armin. No one wanted to end up at base 3. Base three was the sister base of Trost, Trost being base 4), they were known for their shit attitudes and general lack of care when it came to their soldiers. Being transferred there meant an end to your career.  
"Fuuuuuck, remind me to never get caught..."  
Armin giggled  
"That would mean leaving your baby Eren, and I don't think you're prepared to cheat on her..."  
Eren nodded, one hand reaching out and patting the dashboard  
"Of course I couldn't cheat on her... she's my only love"  
Mikasa rolled her eyes again  
"Armin how much further...?"  
"We've still got another 50miles..."  
"Why don't you try get some sleep Mikasa... we can wake you if we need you"  
The teen girl huffed, she hated when Eren treated her like this, she was a grown woman who'd proved herself by landing top place in gunners school, sure a driver may be more prestigious in position. Drivers were the only ones allowed on the roads, all civilians caught driving were generally executed on the spot, zombies loved the sound of cars, they drew them like moths to a flame. Driver had gone highly trained, and reflexes through the roof, they also had to pass all kinds of psychological tests, tests to prove they could run down zombies, knowing they once were people and still perform their job.

"He's right Mikasa, nothing's going to happen, you may as well take a nap, well probably doing a straight round trip, and they're most active at night after all"  
Armin smiled in her direction, Mikasa passing her SMG over, Armin eyed it suspiciously and Mikasa settled into her corner. Scarf pulled up and her dark thick glasses down, her face effectively hidden.

While Mikasa napped the two teens chatted about the other members around the base. Their base was base 1, located in Shinganshima district, given how far away from urban areas, it'd been given the position of the highest ranked base, kind of like a last hope for humanity, zombie seemed to be drawn to large urban areas with high populations, Shinganshima had the lowest of personal numbers, but each the highest ranking, still Eren wanted out. He'd been thinking of applying for a transfer  
"Eren, look out!"  
Eren jumped, shaken from his thoughts. The horde in front of him at least 50 thick, he cringed at the realisation that some of them were sporting military uniforms. There was a high chance he'd interacted with them at least once  
"Wake Mikasa, she'll need to thin them out"  
Armin shook Mikasa's arm and pressed her gun back into her hand. She eyes the scene in front of them before shifting towards the middle where Armin was seated, the blonde teen scrambled over the seat, flicking open the cars sun roof for her on the way.  
"Right Eren, hit the brakes"  
Eren sighed, he was already breaking, his sister should have already realised that. Mikasa positioned herself through the sun roof, using the top of the car to balance her gun. She let out a slow spray, aiming for the head of the closest, head damage seemed to be the only way to stop bastards for good.  
Eren started to accelerate again, Mikasa still firing, Armin huddled in the back, it was all he could do in this situation. The first body Eren hit, hit the roobar on the front, flicking the body upwards and into the windscreen, Armin yelped as the undeads mouth moved and hands tried to claw through the glass.  
"Eren, you're deviating, you've got to go left"  
"Geez thanks Mikasa, now if you could do something about the body messing up my baby, that'd be great"  
Mikasa rolled her eyes, she pushed herself up a little higher so her torso was flat on the roof, she tightly trapped her finger on the trigger, there was a small pop and the head splattered across the glass, her scarf preventing the mess from getting on her face. She slid back in and dropped back into her seat, trying to squint through the bloodied glass  
"Eren you can't drive like this, isn't it time you upgraded and got a mesh screen?"  
"I could do that to my baby! She needs to breathe Mikasa!"  
"And you need to see, Armin, have we got anything we can use to push this shit off?"  
Armin fossicked around in the back  
"There should be a broom back there!"  
Armin raised and eyebrow, digging around, the SUV was filled with the papers they were supposed to be delivering, the boxes making it hard to find anything underneath. Locating the black broom he pulled it out awkwardly, Eren hitting a bump and Armin accidentally smacked him in the head with it  
"Here Mika"  
Mikasa took the broom and climbed back up through the sunroof, she used the head of it to push at the body until it finally began to move. It left a long trail of blood and rot across the windscreen  
"Mikasa, get back in and close the sunroof, ima turn the wipers on now"  
Mikasa eyed the broom head with disgust, she threw it clear of the car and dropped down, fasting the small window closed behind her  
"Did you... did you just throw my broom away!"  
Armin giggled at the indignation in Eren's tone, his friend was hardly a clean freak.  
"It was gross"  
That was the extent of Mikasa's argument.  
"It was a gift!"  
"Well you said to use it, and what happened to putting the wipers on?"  
Eren rolled his eyes as he flicked the handle, soapy water splashed across glass, carrying down the bodies fluids. The smearing took a few minutes to clear. 

Eren turned his music back up, effectively silencing and conversation, instead he sang along to the song he'd hear at least a hundred times by now, maybe he should see if he could find anyone who could update his iPod for him.

*  
Pulling into the base 4, Eren breathed a sigh of relief. He parked in front of the command building and crawled out his car, he cast an eye over his baby, examining the damage. His fingers itches to clean the gunk off her.  
Armin wandered off to report their arrival, Mikasa stayed sitting in the car, glaring at the world passing by.

"What the fuck is that?"  
Eren jumped, he turns around slowly to find the source of the voice that had rudely interrupted his thoughts. The owner was a short man, his gaze was fierce and eyes grey, black hair cut in a non traditional style, but it really seemed to suit him.  
"Oi! Brat! I asked you... what the fuck is that"  
The man gestured to Eren's SUV.  
"She's my girl... don't let looks fool you, you won't find a better car in all the camps"  
"You're girl... is a fucking wreck! Move it..."  
Eren rolled his eyes  
"You should already know I can't. Not until she's been unloaded..."  
Mikasa heard the conversation unfolding, she slid from her seat and came to Eren's side, coldly glaring at the man  
"Who's this? Your bodyguard?"  
Eren rolled his eyes  
"Mikasa... meet..."  
He left the sentence open, the older man clearly not impressed  
"Captain Levi... or Sir to you!"  
Eren gaped, this man was humanities strongest solider? Levi Ackerman was a legend, everyone knew his name, the man who was worth 10 3 man teams alone.  
"Mikasa, Eren! They'll start unloading soon..."  
Armin stopped short, staring at the scene in front of him, Mikasa was clearly pissed.  
"They said we should head in grab something to eat..."  
"This brats not going anywhere until he's cleaned his car up. Who knows how many fucking germs he's brought in"  
Mikasa took a step towards Levi, Eren grabbed her arm and leant in  
"Mika, it's alright. Just go with Armin..."  
Mikasa was clearly not impressed at being told to go, but Eren smiled warmly at her. Waiting until she was gone before turning back to Levi  
"If you want her clean so badly you clean her... there's no point cleaning her until we get back to base 1, the roads thick with them..."  
"Tch. Whoever made you a driver must have rocks for brains. Your car isn't a toy, leaving her like this could cause all kinds of problems"  
Eren rolled his eyes, he moved back to the driver side door, fishing out his cigarettes and lit one up, the man seemed even less impressed, the nicotine filled his lungs and he felt himself relax  
"Look, it's not like I don't get it, and you should do. This isn't my base, I can't go using your things and like I said the road was pretty thick. But we'll be out of your hair as soon as she's unloaded"  
Levi gave a nod, casting one last look a Eren before turning and leaving. Eren let out a sigh. The man he'd admired for years was a total douche.

Walking a short distance from his car, he dropped down onto the gravel, his eyes turning towards the setting sun. He yawned tiredly, his stomach grumbling, maybe he should go find his friends, but that meant leaving his car and he didn't trust Levi not to take things into his own hands.

An alarm began to sound, Eren jumped to he his feet, he'd only heard once before. There were zombies in the compound. Jogging to his car, he grabbed Mikasa's gun. His friends already running towards him. He passed the gun over to her, Mikasa snatched it and was off and running towards the front entrance  
"Oi! Don't just fucking stand there, you need to help out too!"  
Eren stared at the man, he knew he'd met him before, but couldn't for the life of him remember the mans name.  
"You do know how to use a gun right"  
Armin nodded and the man led them over to the Armory. Eren's eyes widened at the arsenal, it was much better equipped than their own. Armin grabbed a shot gun, while Eren took his time before grabbing an older styled sword. He was better at hand to hand than using a gun.

The pair brushed past the solider, jogging towards where the fighting was happening.

*  
Eren's blade found its mark, cleanly slicing through the undead in front of him. His heart was pounding, he craved the feeling of the blade trough flesh. He spun round to check on Armin, the short blonde had fucked up and got himself backed into a corner, Eren didn't think twice before throwing himself at the undead closing in on his friend. Swinging down, the blade caught against the bone. Armin was desperately trying to reload, shells falling to the ground, his hands shaking badly.  
"Eren!"  
Eren spun round, but he couldn't do anything with his blade stuck. Rotten yellow teeth sunk deeply into his arm, he screamed as his flesh was torn away, blood pouring from the wound. He swore loudly, he was bitten, there was no cure. But that meant he no longer needed to worry about his safety. Launching forward he ignore the pain, shoving the rotten dead away from his friend. Reaching Armin's side, he yanked the gun from his friend. His fingers shoving the shells inside and he cocked the gun. He balanced the shotgun on his arm, he knew the recoil would hurt, but he needed to clear a path for Armin, even if he didn't survive, Armin had to. When Armin reached for the shells he'd dropped Eren grabbed his arm, half wrapping himself around his friend he use his body as shield until Armin had a free path  
"Armin, you need to run... don't stop until you find Mikasa..."  
Eren coughed and a thick bloody discharge dribbled from his mouth. The taste set his tastebuds alight, the virus was taking effect, he could practically hear the blood coursing through his frightened friend  
"Eren..."  
Eren shook his head  
"Armin go! I'll try buy you as much time as possible..."  
Armin turned, he didn't want to see Eren changing into one of those... he cursed his weakness... tears began to roll down his cheeks, his legs carrying him towards Mikasa.

Eren spun round, his eyes searching for the undead with the sword half through its head. He pushed forward into the zombies, their nails catching and tearing his skin. Sticking his hand in the zombies mouth, he ignored the rotten flesh that melted around it, he told firm as he slid the sword free, he wouldn't have been able to dislodge it otherwise.  
The zombies were beginning to lose interest in him, he figured it was because he was becoming one of them, he let out a yell shout, all their attention falling to him. Something inside him was throbbing, trying to burst free, he didn't understand it, he couldn't fight against it. 

*  
Levi looked around at the mess of bodies, they'd lost at least 15 men here, they have to redraw the teams, he wondered how many drivers were left.

Rounding the corner he frowned at the sight in front of him. That same smart mouthed brat from before was staggering, zombies clawing and chewing on his moving form, but the kid wasn't going down without a fight. Pulling his pistol out, he flicked off the safety and systematically began taking out the undead. The kid would die, but if he had any last words, Levi would listen.

He approached Eren, it was then he realised the boy was already dead, his face drawn and blood was running from his mouth, his eyes held no light behind them. He raised his gun again, but the teen didn't attack, instead he dropped the sword from his hands and placed them upon his head, falling to his knees like he was surrendering. Levi had never seen anything like it.  
"Hanji!"  
He yelled the woman's name, if there were zombies, Hanji would be close  
"Levi!"  
Hanji's voice sounded happy, she appeared around the corner and let out a gasp  
"Levi!!! What's this? "  
"Tch! Isn't it your job to know?"  
"But I've never seen anything like this before! Do you know who it is? He looks likes freshly turned"  
"He'd the driver for the team that arrived from base 1 earlier, fucking shitty brat... that lump of filth covered shit parked in front of commands his car... his friends should be around here somewhere"  
Hanji nodded  
"Levi, you can't shoot him alright... I've never seen anything like him before, he should be completely senseless"  
Hanji moved towards Eren, her own hands raised in a sign of nonaggression. She could see the teen trying to follow her movements, more blood dribbled from his mouth. The boy slumped forward.  
"Levi! Get me something to tie him up with, ima ask Erwin if we can keep him"  
"Hanji's he's fucking dead..."  
"And yet..."  
She waved her hands at him and he sighed pinching the bridge of his nose.  
Leaving to find some thick chains, instead he was forced to return with rope. Nobody bothered to put shit away properly in this place.  
Hanji bound the unconscious teens form, tearing off a strip of her shirt to gag him.

*  
Eren moaned, he tugged against the things on his wrists, unsure why he couldn't move.  
"Hanji! It's awake!"  
Hanji screamed with excitement  
"Eren! Eren can you hear me!"  
Eren nodded, his body heavy and his head throbbing. He felt like he'd been run over by a horde of zombies.  
"Good, now he can give us some fucking answers!"  
"Levi, calm down, the poor kids just woken up..."  
"Hanji, he's not a kid. He's a freak... he should be fucking dead!"  
Eren was confused, he couldn't remember anything after arriving at the compound.  
"What... what happened..."  
Eren's tongue felt heavy, his mouth filled with the taste of blood, he coughed and spat, trying to remove it. It didn't help  
"Oi! Don't be so fucking disgusting! Now start talking"  
Eren shook his head, finally raising it, he realised that other than the woman, that seemed to be named Hanji, and Levi there was a third person staring at him.  
"Eren, ignore these two. I'm the commander of this base, my name is Erwin smith, can you tell me a little about yourself? Maybe your name? Your friends weren't too forthcoming..."  
"Yeager... it's Eren Yeager..."  
"Good... see that's good Eren. And you're a driver right... "  
"Yeah... with Mikasa and Armin... where are they?"  
"You're friends are fine. It's you you need to be worried about. People are going to want your head once this gets around"  
Eren didn't understand, but as long as his friends were alright.  
"Erwin... can I please examine him now... please!!!"  
"Eren, is it alright if Hanji takes a few blood samples?"  
Eren nodded quickly  
"Um, but first... can you tell me why I'm here?"  
Levi rolled his eyes, Hanji looked to Erwin and Erwin shrugged  
"You were a zombie! Eren it was so cool! You were totally dead! But now look at you! It's so totally awesome..."  
Eren's laughter bubbled forth  
"No seriously... why am I here...?"  
"Eren, its true, Levi here saw it first hand, we all did..."  
Eren's smile dropped, the man was serious...  
"But... I..."  
His sentence fell short, he didn't know what to say  
"It's alright Eren, I'll take some samples and we'll try get some answers alright?"  
Eren nodded, the woman unlocking the door and digging through her pockets pulled out a small pile of goods, Eren eyeing the cannula... he'd always hated needles  
"I know... but I'll only take a few vials, promise"  
Eren nodded and closed his eyes. She didn't even bother to clean the site in the crook of his elbow. He flinched as the needle breached his skin, the whole process over in a few minutes, Hanji making excited noises over it all.  
"Alright Eren, try get some rest, I'll see what I can do about getting you some food alright..."  
"Thankyou... I don't suppose I can have a smoke?"  
Hanji giggled  
"Maybe not right now..."  
Eren nodded and heard Hanji move away. He settled in, for what he felt, would be a long night.

*  
Hanji examined the samples, they made no sense. Eren should be dead, his DNA was a mishmash of junk, she had to know more!  
Erwin knocked lightly as he entered, she tugged him over and began gushing in excitement. Finally he had to hold his hand up to halt her flow of words  
"Hanji, what I need to know is: is he dangerous? Can he control it? And who's side is he on?"  
Hanji smiled at him mischievously  
"His DNA is like nothing I've seen, so I can't answer that... but did you know, he's the son on Grisha Yeager... Thee Grisha Yeager... the man who was part of the first team to start research on this... OMG! Imagine if he's alive! Imagine if Eren knows where he is! Erwin... please say we get to keep him! We're the only ones who know right? Let's transfer him here... please, please, please..."  
Erwin sighed  
"Hanji you know it's not that simple..."  
"Sure it is! We just say we need someone like him... blah blah blah he was so helpful with what happened and we're short membered..."  
"And what about his friends, that blonde one saw him get bitten, how are we supposed to explain Eren being alive?"  
"We tell them... we have a meeting with the three of them... and we tell them..."  
"We don't even know them"  
"But they might know stuff"  
Hanji kept up her whiney tone, knowing that it was wearing on Erwin's nerves.  
"I get the feeling they aren't going to be too forthcoming without Eren... or an explanation, we can't even show them a body for him"  
"Then let's take them down there, will bring Levi, he can sniff a lie out at a mile away"  
"Fine, but I want you to run a few more tests on Eren first, we need to know if we can take him down in the event he becomes violent"  
Hanji nodded, she knew she shouldn't be so excited to cut a teen apart, but fuck she was curious.

*  
Eren tried to sleep, but his stomach was rolling uncomfortably, he really needed to use the toilet, but he doubted they'd be so accomodating.

When Hanji entered the cell she immediately noticed his discomfort. Embarrassed he explained that he really needed to relieve himself, she face palmed, apologising, as she'd have to get Levi, he had the keys for his cuffs. He nodded and she left, he tried to think of anything else... but she seemed to be taking forever  
"Tch! Shitty brat"  
Levi pulled his gun out and cocked it  
"You try anything... anything at all, and you'll be dead before your body hits the floor"  
Eren nodded wide eyed. He rubbed his tender wrists when he was finally freed, Levi leading him out the cell and down the hall  
"In here... leave the door open"  
Eren gaped at him, no way was that happening  
"It's either that or shit yourself"  
Eren half nodded, disappearing into the room. He practically moaned in relief, that was until the smell of blood hit him and he was gagging. Quickly he finished up and wiped, blood seeping through the paper, he tried not to panic. The toilet looked liked someone had filled it with red cordial. He flushed away the evidence, trying to quell his panic. There's been so much blood. His face was still pale as he stumbled from the bathroom. Not realising that Levi had noticed immediately  
"Tch! Took long enough... you aren't about to turn into a zombie right? You look a bit green and stink like blood"  
Eren wrapped his arms around his belly, it was fucking tender.  
"I don't want to talk about it..."  
The phase was low and mumbled, Levi didn't bother replying, he'd have Hanji pry into it later.

Eren sunk down onto the floor in his cell, he was feeling like death warmed up, he couldn't help but laugh a little at the thought. He felt then all stare at him  
"Sorry... was laughing at myself..."  
He didn't know why he felt the need to explain...  
He could feel them judging him.  
"How are you feeling Eren?"  
"Like death warmed up"  
Eren offered a small smile and Hanji snorted  
"Well I guess that's one way to look at it..."  
Eren nodded his arse was beginning to feel damp, he wondered if he was still bleeding  
"I want to examine you... is that alright?"  
Eren nodded his eyes flicking to Levi  
"Sorry, but he has to stay... at least until you're back in chains... but I'll have him turn around. Alright?"  
Eren nodded, he pushed himself up from the floor  
"I'll get you to strip for me alright... do you need help?"  
Eren shook his head, he stripped his shirt off easily, his pants he was a little more hesitant about  
"Just done to your underwears fine"  
Eren nodded and slid his pants down, immediately the smell of blood hit his nose. Hanji frowned  
"You're bleeding..."  
Eren nodded  
Eren whispered what had happened in the bathroom, but Hanji insisted that he strip completely. He looked at her pleadingly, but she shrugged and he pulled his underwear down too.

It was humiliating having her examine him, he'd never been touched at her fingers felt uncomfortable.  
"I think it's a side effect of coming back to life, your bodies trying to get rid of the internal damage. There's not much I can do about that for now. Go ahead and pull your pants back on"  
Eren nodded, ignoring the burning in face. He sat in the edge of the bed and she busied herself with taking his temperature and pulse rate, both within normal range.  
Lastly she pulled a knife out and he eyed it with distaste  
"Sorry about this... your arm please"  
Eren held his arm out and the woman cut a small line into his flesh. Within seconds it began to heal, she squealed in delight.  
"Levi you should see this! He heals right away!"  
Levi turned around, Eren's face flushing again. He stepped into the cell and watched as Hanji cut Eren's arm again, once again the flesh knitted itself back together.  
"This could be a worry..."  
Eren looked up at him with a sinking feeling.  
"We can't keep him around if he keeps healing like this Hanji, what happens if he turns, he could slaughter everyone in his sleep"  
Eren wrapped his arms around him stomach, he felt sick. He didn't ask for any of this.  
"But Levi, if Eren can come back to being human, think of all the people can be saved. Imagine that! All the people we can help!"  
Levi shrugged  
"Fine. But he stays in the cell, and he can't be a driver anymore. Oh and his friends will need to be talked to, we can't have them running their mouths"  
Hanji nodded  
"Hear that Eren! Levi's gonna be in charge of you! Oh this is gonna be great!"  
Eren's eyes flicked to Levi, the man looked as happy about it all as he felt.  
"I'll get you a change of clothes. Levi don't go chaining him back up just yet"  
Hanji took her data and left. An awkward silence falling in the cell.

*  
Eren squirmed as his friends gaped at him, both clearly shocked he was still alive. He wasn't allowed to touch them though, in case he infected them, so he was forced to sit their with his hands in his lap, dying for a smoke. His heart was pounding and he wanted to sink into the floor.  
Erwin filled in the situation, both Mikasa and Armin jumping to his defence when he was done and both insisting they knew nothing about Grisha's disappearance. Nor about Eren's unusual condition. The three of them would be transferring to Trost base, effective immediately, Erwin making it clear that he wouldn't hesitate to put them all in the ground if they caused trouble.  
Mikasa and Armin agreed, they both believed in Eren. In the end the only one who seemed ripped off by the situation was Levi. Stuck with babysitting of an undead freak, who couldn't clean and smoked. Erwin owed him for this.


	2. 2

Eren adjusted the best he could given the circumstances. If he was completely honest, he was miserable. His days spent as Hanji's test subject, the woman tried her best to be supportive, but it was hard to stay positive... a feeling that was only growing worse.   
He missed driving.  
He missed the feel of the sun.  
He missed Armin's gossip and Mikasa's bitchiness.  
He missed being able to shower and go to the bathroom alone.  
But most of all he missed being the person he used to be, so many questions kept him up at night. Did his father know? Hell had his father done this to him? The more he tried to remember the more the memories of his father faded. 

Laying on his bed, he scratched at his wrists, he couldn't really hurt himself, Hanji would know. It seemed the wounded he inflicted to himself didn't heal like the rest, they'd take days at a time, and leave angry red scars in their wake. The only real positive that'd come from from the barrage of tests was that he didn't seem capable of passing his strain of the virus on. But that didn't mean they trusted him enough to let him see his friends. The pair had been assigned to a new driver, a man named Olou... he only knew because Hanji told him. Levi never spoke a word more than necessary, he didn't understand the man at all.

He rolled over, scratching harder. Tears welled in his eyes and he pulled the blanket over his head. Why had it all turned out like this?

*  
Hanji smiled as Eren entered her lab. She waved goodbye to Levi and immediately put Eren to work, they were trying to work out his trigger, a way for him to turn into the an undead without being torn to shreds by zombies. So far it hadn't happened and he knew she was frustrated. Stripping his shirt, Hanji placed electrodes on his chest, she motioned to the thread mill and gave him the thumbs up. Eren hated how unfit he obviously was. He struggled to keep pace for 3 miles, when he'd taken the physical for his licence, he'd had to do 7.

He jogged on the machine, Hanji adjusting the pace and speed as she saw fit, by the end of it his legs were like jelly and he was beyond upset. He felt like he was wasting her time and that any minute Levi would come back and put a bullet in his brain. He stumbled off the treadmill, his hand landing on Hanji's bench, forcing himself not to wince as the scalpel he'd worked so hard to land on cut into his skin. He slipped the steel blade into his pocket and pulled his shirt back on. The woman seemed none the wiser.

When she noticed the blood from his hand, he apologised awkwardly, explaining he didn't want to make a big deal, he'd caught it on the bench corner. She nodded and cleaned the wound, almost tenderly wrapping his hand for him. The pair then had lunch and the experiments resumed. Hanji was working through a list of poisons in small doses, trying to see if any of those would force a change. Most of the time it just ended up with Eren coughing up blood, once or twice he fainted from the pain. But never once did he "die".

When Levi came to pick him up, Eren kept his head down, his gut was cramping and he was struggling to keep his emotions under control.  
Levi locked him in his cell, asking if he wanted anything to eat. Eren declined and the man left. He waited until Levi was completely out of earshot before pulling out the scalpel he'd stolen before. Running his thumb along the edge, he slice a thin piece of skin off, of he angled it right, the wound wouldn't bleed. He pulled back the blankets and looked across his form. Honestly he wanted to spilt both veins open, Hanji could do as she pleased with his corpse, but when he pressed the blade to his left wrist, he just couldn't do it. He was close, but not quite there. He looked at his body, the only place they wouldn't check would be his thighs. Even if he didn't shower alone, it wasn't like Levi actually looked at him. The man clearly still disgusted by his existence. He slipped both his pants and underwear down, just below the crease of where his leg met his hip. Lightly he drew the blade across, a small red line stared up at him, droplets of blood welling along it. He watched as his dick twitched, fuck he was more messed up than he'd thought. Still he drew the blade across, adding to the first line until 10 neat lines bled.

He pulled his pants back up, using the scapel he made a small hole in the corner of the mattress, it wasn't evident as it was in the corner that met the two walls. The knowledge he could take his life at any time was a comfort. 

*  
Eren looked at the lines on his leg as he showered, it seemed they'd been shallow enough to heal, but still scarred red. Oh well, he couldn't find the effort to care.  
Levi lead him down to Hanji's lab once they were done. Hanji smiled wickedly, and motioned Levi closer.  
"Eren! Guess what today is..."  
Eren eyed her apprehensively   
"We're going for a little drive!"  
Eren didn't know what to say. Yesterday he'd been so close to ending it all... and today... today they were letting him go out?  
"Yep yep, the three of us, we're heading over to base 3!"  
Eren's face fell, Jean was there... eeesh.  
"Oi, what's wrong shitty brat?"  
"Oh... um... it's nothing... just a bit of a surprise is all..."  
Hanji nodded   
"If it counts we didn't know about it until this morning..."  
Eren turned his attention back to the map laying in front of her, he knew the route perfectly, he knew all of them. He tried not to get too hopeful  
"You're driving, Levi's gonna be gunner which makes me the runner I guess"  
"I'm... what?"  
"Driving... you know... that thing you're hired to do..."  
"I thought... are you sure you want me too?"  
Hanji smiled  
"Yep yep, ignore the grump there, he's never played well with others, think of this of a skill test, you pass and hopefully grumpy will be able to start taking you out more"  
Eren nodded, his hopes soaring.  
"Tch. Let's just go already, I don't want to be there any longer than necessary"  
Hanji took Eren's hand, smiling broadly as she dragged him along.

Eren eyes his car in shock, it'd been Levi'd, washed and polished until she shone, he threw himself at her, hugging his car, and rubbing his face against her smooth shiny body.  
"Alright, get off the car, you have no idea how long it took to get it clean  
"Her! Her clean! I can't believe you rubbed my baby up without me"  
Levi shook his head, he looked to Hanji, but she was just laughing.  
"Can we go already?"  
Eren was already climbing into the drivers side, Levi in the front and Hanji in the back, he didn't bother asking what they were going for, he didn't think he'd get an answer if he did. His fingers felt around in the door. He found his smoke pack gone.   
"Levi... Did you do what I think you did..."  
"What did you do Levi?"  
"He binned my lucky smoke!"  
"Tch. Smokings bad for you!"  
"But Leviiiii... it was his lucky smoke!"  
Hanji's voice was teasing, he didn't like to tell them he'd had it since the first pack he got from his work pay. His baby had been violated, Levi had even adjusted the seat. The smile fell from his face as he knocked the car into drive, they briefly had to stop at the entrance, signing out. Eren pulled out onto the government approved road, driving carefully, the car silent. Eren had a feeling that Levi would have messed with his music too.  
"Eren... music..."  
Eren shrugged and Hanji climbed into the front, barely fitting. She fiddled with the sound system until finally music started to flow. Yep. Levi had even changed his music. He tried hard to keep his emotions inside. This car had been his life, his own personal sanctuary, he felt like his own individuality has been stripped back to the sterile mould the government expected. He said nothing, not even wincing as he ran down zombies along the way. Levi didn't comment and Hanji bounced up and down clearly bored.

Eren felt none of the usual joy as he pulled up to the entrance of base 3. After being let in, he parked in front of the command centre for the base.  
"Alright Eren, we'll be back soon"  
Eren nodded, he got it. He's not to move from the car, turning off the engine he slumped forward over the wheel. Small tears escaping from the corners of his eyes. He just wanted to go back to his cell.

He jumped at the thud on the window, wiping his eyes when he realised it was Jean. Couldn't the teen just fuck off? Sighing he turned the engine on and put the window down.  
"Oi, Yeager! Still driving this piece of shit! Nearly didn't recognise it!"  
"Fuck off Jean... not now..."  
Jeans smile faded a little  
"What the fucks up your arse? Run out of smokes or something"  
"Something like that..."  
Jean nodded pulling a pack from his back pocket, he took two out and lit them both before holding one out for Eren. He took it, really not giving a fuck  
"I heard about you and Marco, it's fucking rough..."  
Jeans face darkened  
"It's fucked. We weren't even going anything, first they send me here and now I'm supposed to transfer to Trost"  
Eren didn't reply, he'd missed nicotine. He wanted to enjoy it a few more minutes before admitting he had to drive Jean back with them... fuck it'd be awkward. 

"Oi! Eren! You know this Jean kid? He's supposed to be coming with us?..."  
"That Jean kid is right here, Levi!"  
Eren rolled his eyes, Jean looking awestruck.  
"You'll get over it real fast..."  
Levi shot him a glare, Eren took pleasure in taking a deep drag, seeing the mans quietly seething.  
"Jean. Got get your shit, we leave in 10"  
Jean coughed, dropping the smoke and stubbing it out with his boot.  
"Yeah... I think I'm over it already"  
Jeans words were low, only Eren heard his grumble. Eren finished his cigarette, Levi had opened the passenger door, clearly attempting to air the car.  
Hanji watched in apprehension. Waiting for Levi to snap. The short man crinkled up his nose as he slipped into the car  
"You know those things are bad for you..."  
"And you know I'm already dead right..."  
"Actually you're only occasionally dead..."  
Hanji provided less than helpfully, Levi shooting her a glare  
"So you know Jean right. What's he like"  
"He's an arse"  
Levi snorted  
"Well here he comes, don't forget. Keep your mouth shut"  
"Levi, he's not going to blab!"  
Eren did as Levi said, firmly keeping his mouth closed. He wanted the day over already.

Jean tried to make conversation but Eren kept his mouth shut, eventually he fell silent. Eren only broke his silence when they reached Trost base, signing them all back in. Instead of parking where he'd picked his car up from in the morning, he packed over in the car bays, ignoring Jeans gaze on his back.  
He unbuckled his belt and scrambled form the car  
"Hanji, may I please go back to my room now?"  
Hanji looked to Levi and Levi nodded  
"Jean, I'll take you to see our commander"  
"I guess I'll see you later Eren"  
Eren didn't respond, he was already moving towards where his cell was. He reached the door before Levi and stood patiently until Levi opened the door, Eren pushed it closed behind him.   
Levi said nothing, he didn't understand why the teen was so shitty, he'd done well, not deviating at all, actually his work would have been perfect if not for his smoking. He was way too old to deal with this teens shit. He pushed Eren from his mind and headed to Erwin's office to join I on Jeans induction.

*  
Eren sobbed until he couldn't cry anymore. He'd never asked for any of this, and sure his car hadn't been perfectly cleaned inside, it was his, everything where he liked it, and sure he'd complained about his music, but that didn't get Levi the right to be changing things. His hand snaked out, sliding into the hole in the mattress and pulling the scalpel free. He pulled it against his wrist, not caring about how deep it was, he was just so damn frustrated. Sick of being under Levi's thumb. Sick of being poisoned by Hanji, even if she did fucking apologise, sick of feeling so lost and confused. 

His blood began to flow, not healing like it would have if Hanji was inflicted the wound. It was hypnotic, like when he'd cut his leg, he slipped the scalpel back into its spot, his hands shaking from the effort, he wanted to laugh, so very happy, no one was here to stop him.

*  
Hanji knew Eren was upset, she'd notice from the moment he'd actually got in his car and she couldn't blame him, Levi may have been being nice in his own way, but this was Eren's baby, probably the one piece of normality he had left from his own life. She knew he'd cleaned the teens car, but she'd have to talk to Levi about it, hoping he hadn't binned Eren's things. The teen desperately needed somewhere he could feel safe and like he belonged. It wasn't Levi's fault, he was just too socially awkward to agree.

She waited until Levi arrived and passed care of Jean on over to him. She quietly excused herself from the meeting, Erwin giving me a curious look but she shook her head. Knowing that meant she'd tell him later. Her pace was brisk as she made her way to Eren cell, almost as soon as she reached the corridor, she could smell blood. She jogged the rest of the way to Eren's cell, staring at the sight in front of her. Eren was snarling, he looked almost panicked, his body wasn't torn like it'd been the first time she saw him in his undead form. But the blood still poured from his mouth and there were some kind of wounds on his arms, she placed two and two together. Eren had evidently tried to kill himself. She jogged back to her lab, pulling out her tranquilliser gun, hoping she it'd work. She couldn't treat Eren in his current form, just because he couldn't pass the virus, didn't mean he couldn't do some real physical harm.

By the time she returned Eren had managed to inflict more wounds upon himself, she wondered if the teen had anymore blood to lose, taking aim she fired, the tranq dart finding its target, Eren staggered and fought the effects before slowly slumping to his knees, collapsing forward. How the hell was she supposed to explain this?

Leaving Eren there was the only thing she could do. Levi still had the cell key, she knew the man was going to take the news hard. He may not have made any effort towards the teen, but he didn't seem to particularly hate him. It wasn't like Levi cleaned for everyone.

She was slightly breathless as she skidded to a halt outside Erwin's door, she knocked lightly, forcing herself to take a few deep breaths, before opening the door. Jean was still there so she forced a smile across her face before asking to borrow Levi for a moment. 

Erwin had had enough, Jean was grating on his nerves, no wonder the teen had been bounce from base to base. When Hanji asked for Levi, he excused himself as well, leaving a confused Jean behind.

Hanji dragged the two men along, she tried to explain but her words fell over themselves and finally Levi snapped at her to shut up. Levi's pace slowed as the approached the cell where Eren lived. He could smell blood in the air and looked to Hanji. She shook her head and held her hand out, Levi passed her the key and she unlocked the door before darting in. Rolling Eren over, she noted that he was back to his human form, long deep cuts along both wrists  
"He tried to kill himself..."  
Levi took a step back and Erwin swore. This kid had just heaped a pile of trouble on him.  
"Levi, I need you to help me move him. His arms need stitching, the wounds are still bleeding..."  
Levi nodded, he knelt down and hoisted the kid up, he felt so fucking light.  
"Erwin, while we treat him, check the cell, something made those wounds..."  
Erwin stepped in, heading to the bloodied bed, paying no mind to his two subordinates. 

*  
Hanji worked on Eren's wrists, she knew he was depressed, but this obviously took some planning. She forced her fingers not to shake as she wiped down Eren's wrists, it broke her heart to see him like this. She'd become quiet fond of him.   
Once the wounds were clean, she started to stitch them closed. The sedatives in his system would keep him out for a few more hours, so she wrapped the wounds.  
"Levi, he's going to need to be cleaned down, we can't leave him covered in his own blood"  
Levi looked up at her, she could see the guilt in his eyes, still with her help, they manoeuvred Eren into the labs bathroom. Hanji pulled off the teens ruined shirt  
"I'll do it... you go check in with Erwin, see if he found what Eren used"  
Hanji nodded. Levi didn't need a lecture right now, he was no doubt replaying every moment with Eren, trying to figure how this happened.

Levi frowned after Hanji left, he stripped down Eren's pants, eyes falling on the self harm marks. Part of him was relieved that Eren had been depressed before today, but the teen had been so happy this morning. It made no sense to him. Turning on the shower he lifted down the hand held head, he moved Eren's arms out the way, gently scrubbing away the blood the brat had coughed up. He'd thought the kid stronger than this, and this is what had happened. It couldn't be easy for Eren, his whole life was now that cell. He shook his head, trying to shake the thoughts away. Forcing himself to concentrate on Eren's needs.

He took longer than he'd expected, even brushing Eren's teeth until there was no trace of blood. He didn't understand how he could be alive one moment and dead the next. He left Eren sitting on the bathroom bench, usually used by Hanji to dump her extra stuff. Walking into the lab, she saw Hanji waiting alone  
"Erwin went back to Jean"  
The woman held up the bloodied scalpel  
"I don't know when he stole it..."  
Levi nodded  
"What do we do now?"  
"Erwin says we are to move him to another cell, but to be honest I don't want to, I don't think he should be left alone..."  
Levi nodded  
"This is my fault isn't it..."  
Hanji stared at her friend  
"No... well yes... but not entirely... I've been thinking about it all... it couldn't have been to fun, we've put him through hell... all these experiments, the poor kids life's been torn to pieces, and I think he was really excited to get back to his car today... he probably thought it'd still be the same..."  
"And I went and fucking cleaned it..."  
"Yeah, but it's not like you were trying to be cruel about it..."  
Levi nodded slowly... he felt like a total dick.  
"You kept his stuff right..."  
Levi nodded again  
"Yeah, I kept it in case you wanted to go through it all..."  
"Once you've moved Eren back into here, I'll get you to go get it... I want to take a look before you put it all back"  
Levi raised an eyebrow. He moved past Hanji, retrieving Eren's form and laying him out on Hanji examination bed. He said nothing as he proceeded to leave.

*  
Hanji brushed Eren's fringe back from his face, the boy was really quite handsome, given a few more years and he'd be a total lady killer... that's if they all lasted that long. She grabbed the blanket she usually used, off her chair, and laid it over Eren, making sure Eren was completely covered and looked comfortable.

Levi took a good half hour before returning. He placed the box of Eren's good down in front of Hanji  
"I have to go brief Erwin..."  
"It's alright, I'll take care of Eren"  
She saw the glance Levi cast towards the unconscious teen, but she pretended she didn't. She busied herself pulling all Eren's things out.

There were the usual things, headphones, toothbrush, hairbrush, government licence, a photo of him with his two friends, a photo of him with his car, half packets of gum and a smoke pack with 3 left. Her eyes fell on the USB and the iPod. She plugged both into her laptop, opening the iPod first, nothing unusual there, no hidden files... she was almost disappointed. The USB was a little more interesting. There was so much junk on it, that she just copied it all. The rest of the box was just bits of fluff and junk, Hanji was surprised that he hadn't just vacuumed it up.   
She wondered what happened to Eren's stuff from Shinganshima, surely a driver should have visited now... she'd have to chase it up with Erwin, maybe Eren's friends had his things, she kind of hoped not. Eren was already a lab specimen, he didn't need the rest of his secrets spilled

*  
Eren moaned, he felt like shit and the blanket on top of him was too thick. His arms hurt as he pushed the fabric away  
"Eren?  
"Mhmm...?"  
Hanji had to laugh, Eren was clearly still more on the side of asleep than awake  
"It's alright, try get some more sleep..."  
Eren shook his head and struggled up on the bed, one arm coming round to grip his gut. He swung his legs to the edge of the bed and Hanji moved to his side  
"You really shouldn't be moving just yet... you lost a lot of blood..."  
"What happened...?"  
"You tried to kill your self and went all zombie... don't worry, no one was hurt..."  
Eren nodded, that explained why he was so desperate to go to the toilet, and why his gut hurt so badly  
"Toilet..."  
Hanji nodded and guided Eren's stumbling form through to the bathroom, he waved her off at the door and struggled the rest of the way.

He nearly passed out from the pain, fuck, he could gladly go through the rest of his life not feeling like this again.   
He finished and washed his hands, his arms coming round to grip his very tender stomach. Hanji took his arm again and guided him back to her examination bed.

"Well, on the plus side, we now know that when your in danger of dying you don't..."  
Hanji offered him a small smile... it quickly dropped, she sat down next to Eren and pulled him into a hug, the teen clearly not used to being so close to someone  
"Why did you do it Eren...?"  
"I'm just tired..."  
"Tired of all of this I bet... and I saw how disappointed you were yesterday... you were hoping your car would be how you left it right...?"  
Eren nodded  
"I mean, it was nice of Levi to clean it up and all... but..."  
"You had all your stuff the way you liked it?"  
"Yeah... it was like... my space had been violated... and everything that made my baby mine..."  
"Well... Levi meant no harm, and he doesn't clean for everyone... aaaand he did save all your things too..."  
Eren looked up at her hopefully  
"He's not all bad, he just had a bit of a personality issue..."  
"He's a douche, you mean"  
Hanji shook her head  
"Nah, he's a big softy... I know he felt really guilt for what you did, he's not the only one"  
"You're just doing your job... him... well I think he's hated me since before this happened..."  
"Nah, what Levi hates is mess, your car was totally splattered in the undead, it probably insulted his sense of cleanliness..."  
Hanji tried to keep her tone light, but Eren wasn't perking up at all  
"Why don't you try get some more sleep, I can give you a shot if you like?"  
Eren shook his head  
"I'm tired of being an experiment..."  
He was afraid that after what he'd done, he'd wake up to find himself shipped off to be dissected...  
"If your sure... but I think it would help, don't worry, nothing going to happen with your input..."  
Hanji helped him lay down, Eren curling into a ball, the cramping still hadn't faded.

*  
Acting on Hanji's orders Levi returned everything he'd found back to Eren's SUV, well everything apart from the USB and iPod, Hanji still had those. His next task was tracking down Eren's possessions, it turned out that Mikasa's and Armin's stuff had been brought over, but not Eren's. This meant a new plan.  
They were heading to Shinganshima 

Levi walked into Hanji's lab, eyes falling on Eren. He was pretty much living in the lab with Hanji now, she hadn't even returned to his cell. Erwin lose his shit if he knew.  
"Oi Brat, you up for a drive..."  
Levi didn't miss the way Eren flinched and looked at Hanji, the woman smiled back at the teen  
"It's alright, he won't bite..."  
"That's good to know..."  
Levi raised an eyebrow at his own joke, Eren squirmed.  
"Levi, you've nice my precious Eren"  
"Relax, we'll be fine, we're heading to Shinganshima to pick up Eren's stuff..."  
"We don't need too... it's just clothes and blankets... I usually slept in my car, Armin used to take my stuff and get it washed..."  
"You slept in your car...?"  
"Yeah... it was easier that way..."  
"Oh Eren, surely you must have more than that there?"  
"No, I didn't see the point, the only things I own are the things in my car and my clothes..."  
"But what about your wages, what happened with those"  
"I only took enough of them to buy what I wanted, smokes, gum that kind of things, they gave me clothes so I didn't bother buying anything..."  
Hanji shook her head  
"Eren... I can't believe this! It makes me want to spoil you"  
"It's alright, it's just easier when you have nothing, hell the iPod was technically a gift from Mikasa and Armin..."  
"And the USB?"  
"Dunno, it was just there one day, so I just left it..."  
Levi rolled his eyes and Hanji hummed   
"Well even so, Levi, why don't you take Eren over to Shinganshima anyway, the drive will do you both good and Levi will find out what happened with your wages"  
Eren nodded, he realised he wasn't getting out of this.

Eren trailed out, following Levi, rather slowly, he felt like he didn't belong outside anymore. Levi lead him past his SUV and over to his own, identical externally to Eren's, other than the fact it was forest green and had a screen across the windscreen, like Mikasa had wanted him to get. He stood by the door until Levi snapped at him to get in. Eren scrambled into the front passenger seat, closing the door and sliding up so he was practically half sitting on it. Levi eyed him shaking his head, the brat clearly seemed to think he hated him. It was true at first he did, a skinny know it all teen, and when he turned into an undead freak it didn't help, but the kid did have a certain charm.  
"Tch, you don't need to be so afraid... like Hanji said, I don't bite..."  
Eren eyed him, still suspicious, but slid across, so he wasn't right against the door.  
"That's better..."  
Eren nodded, he had no idea what to say to this man.  
Levi's taste in music left much to be desired, Eren tried to nap, but he wasn't used to Levi's driving and every movement of the car made him jump, by the time they reached Shinganshima, Eren was an emotional wreck. It's not like Levi said or did anything... and that was the problem.  
"Come on brat..."  
Eren scrambled out of Levi's car, he cast a gaze around the base, people he used to work with were staring at him, he wondered what they'd been told about his sudden transfer. He followed Levi into the command centre, trying not to shrink into himself.   
"You can wait out here brat, this shouldn't take long"  
Eren nodded and took a seat in the waiting room, he took the one closest to commander Pixis's door. He figure that would keep Levi happy.

Levi didn't even knock before opening the door and heading into the mans office. Eren rolled his eyes, the grey eyed man certain was determined.

"Eren?!"  
Eren jumped, turning to face Marco, he was genuinely happy to see the teen  
"How are you!! It's been so boring since you left..."  
"You mean since Jean left"  
Eren poked his tongue out, and Marco smiled a small smile  
"Yeah, that too..."  
"Jeans alright, we went and picked him up the other day , he's been transferred to Trost now..."  
"Damn, I'm stuck here still, Annie's still the same stick in the mud and Ymir never leaves Historia's side"  
"How about Reiner and Bertholt?"  
"Eeesh, there so hard to work with... Reiners such a rash driver... nearly got us killed last week..."  
Eren nodded, feeling a prang of sympathy for Marco  
"We should see about you getting transferred to Trost..."  
"With Jean there, I doubt they'll let me..."  
"It's stupid, it's not like Jean was even on your team"  
The door next to Eren opened and Marco stepped back, he shot Eren a gaze as Levi barked Eren's name   
"I'll see you later Marco..."  
Eren and Levi exited the building, Levi popping the cars boot.  
"Go grab your stuff from the laundry... I'll wait here..."  
Eren all but ran away from Levi, he wondered if he should be happy that Levi was trusting himself enough to leave him unsupervised again.

Mike smiled warmly as he bundled Eren's things together, he'd washed everything of Eren's that's been left behind, he leant in closer, taking a long sniff   
"You smell different Yeager..."  
Eren laughed, he'd forgotten how sensitive the mans nose was, he hoped his fake laugh would force Mike to back up.  
"I probably smell clean, Trost is really strict on showers and stuff, even down to the soap"  
"Nah it's not soap, it's like blood or something"  
"I think you need your nose checked..."  
Eren scooped up the bundle from the bench top  
"Eren, stay safe out there"  
"You too Mike... you too..."

He carried the bundle back to where Levi was waiting, he placed it carefully in the back of the SUV, not wanting to piss Levi off.  
"Right, let's get out this shit hole..."  
Eren cast a glance around the base again, this time to say a silent goodbye, he hoped Marco would be alright here by himself.

*  
They'd barely made it from the gate when things went wrong. Levi was forced to pull over and Eren gazed at him in concern  
"Wait here..."  
Eren nodded, gazing around the the immediately area, his skin was tingling, something felt wrong. He unclipped his belt, opening his door quietly he slid out  
"Levi! Get back in the car!"  
Levi looked towards Eren's voice, and then back down at his tyre, it'd been loosened intentionally. His ears picked up the sound of rustling, a swarm was behind him  
"Eren, get in the car, I'll take care of this"  
"Sir! You can't! What if you get infected... you should let me... you're more important than me!"  
"Shut it, just get in the car!"  
Eren crawled into the car, before moving over into the drivers seat, he didn't like this at all, he searched the door for something he could use as a weapon, there was only a small pocket knife, still he took it and flicked it open, cracking the drivers door so he'd be ready if it looked like Levi was in trouble  
"Eren, just trust me alright..."  
Eren nodded, his heart was pounding, he wanted to kill them all... it was almost like a compulsion, but he forced himself to stay put, watching as Levi's shots thinned the horde, even Mikasa wasn't this good. He was so caught up in Levi's action he didn't hear the car door open, strong rotting hands pulled him backwards, he let out a yelp in surprise.

Raising his hand he bit down, confused by his own action, the sensation that filled his body was completely unpleasant, his body felt wrong, he tasted blood in his mouth and everything seemed to be throbbing.  
Struggling free he turned to face his attacker, the form of a female zombie stood in front, it seemed to be intelligent, he raised his knife, she raised her fists, with a sickening realisation he realised she was like him...  
He lunged forward, not used to moving in this form, more blood dribbled from his mouth, but none from hers. Cooly she dodged his attacks, paring easily, he was clearly at the disadvantage.  
"Fucking hell! Eren what are you doing!"  
Levi sounded pissed, Eren tried to reply, but only grunts came out.  
The female took the moment to drop him, he groaned as she stomped down onto his stomach repeatedly. Levi fired a shot and she jumped back off him, casting a look at him, she turned and ran, leaving Eren as complete mess.  
"What were you thinking Yeager! I told you to trust me!"  
Eren couldn't reply, his body was burning, he tried to focus on Levi but his vision was already greying out.

Levi watched as the teen passed out, his wounds healing, even the ones on his arms he'd inflicted were gone... bending down he shook the teen, but he didn't wake. He crinkled his nose in disgust, the teens pants were slick with blood, no way was he getting that over his seats.

He propped Eren up against the side of the car, the brat wasn't going anywhere fast. First thing first, he grabbed the torque wrench and retightened the nuts, they'd bent slight and he cursed. He was going to murder whoever did this...  
After that he grabbed one of Eren's blankets out the back, he took one look at Eren's pants and realised they weren't worth saving. He stripped them off, grimacing at the thick bloodied junk that hung inside them, it was like the brat had shat out his organs. It was revolting. He threw the pants away from them, and then stripped Eren's shirt, blood had soaked into it, but it was salvageable, he wrapped Eren up in the blanket and loaded the teen onto the backseat. Fucking shitty brat! Did he have no idea how much paperwork he'd have to fill in!

*  
He was still fuming when he finally reached Trost, glaring at the whole world as he retrieved Eren from the car and hauled his unconscious arse to Hanji. The woman immediately fussing over Eren, confused as to why he was now naked  
"Don't tell me you jumped him!"  
Hanji giggled as she unwrapped Eren, her face falling as she noticed the blood  
"Tch. No, we got mobbed, he did his whole undead thing and that had the nerve to shit himself..."  
Levi shuddered at the memory   
"Looked like the kid shat his organs out..."  
"He probably did... or at least part of them..."  
"Too much information. Anyway, clean him up, I'll grab his things from the car, but then I've got to go Report this all to Erwin, something was off about the zombie who grabbed him..."  
Hanji started on Eren, Levi casting a backwards glance, his thoughts on Eren... the poor kid, of this happened every time... he didn't envy him at all. 

*  
Knocking on Erwin's, his friend sounded tired as he told Levi to come in.  
"Jesus, when's the last time you took a shower..."  
Erwin rolled his eyes, he'd been swamped with papers, trying to keep Eren's secret was proving hard, he'd nearly been done with his latest report when he received a call about Levi taking an unscheduled stop.  
"You know what, you're a bastard... now what happened on the way back from Shinganshima... it was a 30 minute unapproved break..."  
"Some little shit messed with my tyres, loosened the wheel nuts on front driver side"  
Erwin's face darkened  
"And there's no..."  
"I'm not a fucking idiot, I checked my car before we left..."  
"Fuck, that's the last thing we need... and what about Eren?"  
"I had him wait in the car, but some zombie bitch pulled him out, he turned and got his arse handed to him. He's with Hanji now... Erwin, something was different about that zombie... she ran off when I fired a warning shot..."  
Erwin nodded  
"Well we can't do anything about her now and as for Eren, we need to start making some real progress with him, when it comes out, we're going to need solid data to back our actions"  
"Yeah, but Erwin, its fucking rough... kid shits his inside out each time"  
Erwin winced at the bluntness of Levi's words  
"Alright, I get it, but Levi, he could hold the fucking cure..."  
"I know, look I didn't come here to fight. Today's been fucking shit, I'm going to bed, you should do the same"  
Levi spun round and left.  
He wasn't remotely tired, but he didn't want to deal with any of this anymore. His life was so much simpler before the green eyed teen had crashed into his life.

He'd left with every intention of heading back to his own room, to lock the door and poor a large whisky, instead he found himself back in Hanji's lab, Eren wasn't awake, but he'd been cleaned up and redressed.  
He sat down silently on the end of the bed. Hanji still hadn't noticed his presence. The shitty brat should have just trusted him...

Hanji turned round and jumped, she managed to keep hold of the tray of instruments she carried, though it was a close call.  
"Fucksake Levi! Don't you dare glare at me, you should have knocked or something..."  
She continued over to Eren, setting the tray besides him. She cleaned the site in his elbow before sliding the cannula in  
"Shouldn't he be awake for this  
"Yes... but I want to compare his DNA now, to the blood I cleaned off him before"  
"That sounds disgusting. How longs he going to be asleep for?"  
"I don't know. It's a huge shock to his body each time. I wonder if we can find something to stop the blood loss or ease the symptoms"  
"Good, its fucking gross"  
"... at least you don't have to put up with the pain..."  
The pair jumped, both looking down at Eren  
"Hanji, I thought you said I had a say in what happens"  
"You're right... I'm sorry Eren..."  
"She's not really..."  
"It's alright..."  
"Eren, do you remember what happened earlier"  
"With that female zombie... Levi something was wrong with her... she was like me..."  
Hanji interrupted  
"What do you mean like you? Like she was intelligent?"  
"Yeah, it was like she knew exactly who I was and what she doing..."  
Levi swore softly  
"If there's more like Eren, they could be anyone... Hanji can you design a prick test or something, something small and inconspicuous we can use to tell us if someone's like Eren..."  
"Sure... I can give it a shot... I'll have something designed by tomorrow"  
"Eren, you'll be staying with me from now on. If they know who you are..."  
"What? They'll kill me? I think we figured out that that doesn't really work"  
"Or they'll take you and dissect you alive... but if you want to take the chance..."  
"And I can't stay with Hanji?"  
"She's more of a soldier in theory..."  
"It's alright Eren, if what he suspects is true then the safest place you can be is with him"  
Eren gave a nod, clearly not impressed. Hanji silently hoped that Eren would rub off on Levi and not the other way around, the teen was cute and had a wicked sense of humour... when he wasn't in a flunk... Levi needed someone like Eren.


	3. 3

Levi tensed, he couldn't figure out what had awoken him, but he was less than impressed by its lack of concern for his sleep. Pushing back the covers he looked around for the source of the sound, it took him a bit longer than it should have to remember that Eren was now sharing his room... and that noice that had disturbed his blissful slumber, was in fact, the teen having a nightmare.

Reaching out his fingers brushed the tip of the touch lamp, a soft yellow glow filled his small room and he forced himself off the bed and down next to where Eren lay. The kid was obviously in distress, he could smell the sweat on the teen and Eren's mop of hair was plastered down. The kids lips were parted and whimpers fell from them, he seemed to be suffering. Against his better judgement, he took Eren by the shoulders, gently calling his name as he tried to shake him awake.

"Jesus Christ!"  
Eren's eyes had snapped open and he came up swinging, a fist finding its way to land against Levi's left eye. The guilt that came over Eren's face pained Levi more than the actual injury. The tears that were already in Eren's eyes spilled over  
"Eren..."  
Eren jumped up and pushed past him, taking off out the door. Levi was forced to pause and grab a shirt, it'd look suspicious enough having Eren run from his room, and then himself appearing with a blackened eye.

He headed out to look for the teen, he wasn't outside, or in his old cell, he headed to Hanji's lab, but given he had to wake the woman up, it was highly unlikely that he was there. Hanji offered to help, but Levi shook his head, it wouldn't look too great if they were both out in the middle of the night. She suggested checking Eren's car and Levi looked at her like she was an idiot.  
"Levi, he used to live in his car... it's his private space"  
Levi grumbled and Hanji retreated back into her room, Levi knew she wouldn't go back to sleep, instead she'd silently keep herself busy until Eren showed up.

*  
Levi found Eren, curled up sobbing quietly on the backseat of his car, the teen making no move to acknowledge him, even after Levi opened the door, so instead, Levi slipped into the car. He lifted Eren's head gently, and slid his thigh under, Eren's head now resting in his lap, the boys tears soaking into Levi's PJ bottoms.  
"Hey, come on... its only black eye, hardly worth all these tears..."  
Eren stiffened slightly, at least that meant the teen was listening  
"Alright... if you won't talk to me about, then at least tell me about your nightmare..."  
Eren shook his head, causing Levi to sigh  
"Brat, everyone here has fucking nightmares, its normal..."  
"... even you..."  
Eren's voice was low, and Levi winced at the snot bubble that formed when Eren spoke. He looked around the car for something to use, to wipe Eren's face. Instead the teen brought his arm up and wiped his nose on the back of it  
"Fucking gross..."  
Eren flinched, going to move from Levi  
"Tch. Just stay still brat and tell me what has you so upset..."  
"I... I don't know... it's stupid"  
"Just spit it out already"  
"I was in this lab kind of thing... and my father was there... and he was trying to tell me something, but I couldn't work out what he was saying... and then... he started cutting me open... he kept saying how it was for the good of everyone... I could feel every incision...."  
"Shit... that doesn't sound fun at all..."  
"Mhmm... I'm sorry for... you know..."  
"It's alright, I've had worse"  
Eren snorted and shifted slightly  
"Why are you being so nice... I mean... I'm a freak right... I... I don't understand"  
"Tch. Let's just say you've grown on me"  
"Thanks... I think... Levi, you should go back to bed..."  
"You're decades too young to be giving me advice brat, come on... if I have to go back to bed, you do to"  
"I'll just sleep here... I don't want to disturb you again"  
"If you're sleeping here, I'm sleeping here... couldn't you have brought a blanket with you?"  
"Sorry..."  
"Right, so come back to bed then"  
Eren nodded, his head was throbbing from crying so much. He'd expected Levi to tell him that he was getting sent away or locked up... not to calmly listen and then tell him to go back to bed.  
Levi opened the car door and slid out, before offering Eren a hand. The teen shook his head and slipped out the car under his own steam.   
"Go wash up and then come back to my room, you can't go to sleep covered in snot"  
Eren nodded slowly, Levi continued down to his room while Eren ducked into the bathroom. The fluro lights made him look awful, his eyes red and puffy, snot all over his face... gross... how could Levi even look at him without being disgusted.

Levi was already laying back in bed, his back towards the door as Eren entered. Silently Eren slipped into his makeshift bed on the floor. It took a long time before he finally managed to drift back to sleep.

*  
Levi let the teen sleep late, leaving him a short note, telling Eren to come to Hanji's lab when he woke up. Hanji hadn't gone back to sleep, instead she seemed to be working away on something on her computers, Levi knocked quietly before entering  
"So... I bet I was right! He was in his car wasn't he?"  
Levi nodded, he pulled a chair over and sat down next to Hanji, she seemed to be looking at some kind of floor plan  
"What's this?"  
"It was on the USB that Eren had. I think it's some kind of lab or something"  
Levi shivered, his thoughts shifting to Eren's nightmare  
"What makes you say that?"  
Hanji pointed out the things in floor plan that lead her to believe it a lab, Levi had to admit by the end of it, it was certainly possible.  
"So do we know where it is?"  
Hanji shook her head  
"Before everything happened Grisha was working at a lab near Shinganshima... maybe this is the floor plans for that, I can't think why Eren'd have it though"  
"Maybe there's something there to do with him... or his fathers research?"  
"So... what do we do? Do we take this to Erwin?"  
"We'll talk to Eren first, maybe something on here, will jog something..."  
Hanji nodded, sending the file to be printed. 

Eren came in a couple of hours later, Hanji smiled at the teen as he took as seat at her workbench and promptly slumped over the table, like he was willing himself back to sleep.  
"Good afternoon Eren, have a good sleep?"  
Eren raised his head towards Hanji and gave a nod before lowering it again. I felt like crap, his head was still throbbing and he just felt gross.  
Hanji frowned and came over, placing a hand on his forehead  
"You've got a fever..."  
Levi cast her a look and Hanji nodded.  
"Eren why don't you go ahead and take a shower, Levi will bring you something to wear. We wanna talk about something after, alright?"  
"K..."  
Eren tripped over his own feet getting off the chair, Levi by his side in a second  
"Hanji, you go get his clothes, I'll help him shower"  
Hanji winked and poked her tongue out, Levi shook his head at her antics, the woman was crazy.

Eren pushed away from Levi, giving the man a pained smile, Levi rolled his eyes  
"Tch, no need to be embarrassed now brat, it's not the first time I've seen you naked"  
Eren's face reddened, Levi smirked at the reaction before pushing the teen so he was sitting on the bench, quickly he stripped off Eren's shirt and pants, the kid was already barefooted. The idea of walking on the floors of the base shoeless, made him shudder.  
"Right, wait will I get the water running, do you need help in the shower"  
Eren shook his head, not trusting himself to speak, he was mortified that Levi had seen him naked... oh god... what if he'd been hard...He heard the water come on and a few seconds later Levi rejoined him  
"I'll wait here, you go ahead"

Eren let out a moan as the water ran over his body, Levi had chosen to go  
on the cooler side of warm, it felt wonderful. He rested his head against the white tiles wall, nausea rising in his gut as he wondered what Hanji and Levi wanted to talk to him about... maybe they'd decided he was a danger... Levi's eye was dark purple and had to be tender... his breath caught, he opened his mouth trying to take in more air, only to throw up practically nothing... now that he thought about it, he couldn't remember the last time he ate. Shouldn't he be hungrier?  
He jumped as he felt Levi grab his arm, concerned grey eyes meeting his own green ones.  
"Sorry..."  
Levi looked annoyed and Eren looked away   
"Feeling better?"  
Eren shrugged slightly, not really, but he didn't want to tell Levi that  
"Did you at least wash yourself down? You've been in there 20minutes..."  
"Not yet..."  
"Tch"  
Levi grabbed Hanji's bodywash and squeezed a heap onto her shower puff, he took Eren by the arm and started scrubbing, bemused by the look on the teens face. He washed Eren down, all except his genital area. He pushed the puff into Eren's hands and stepped out. He'd gotten wetter than he'd realised, he'd have to wait until Eren got out before he left though, the brat looked like he was about to collapse. Finally the water stopped and Eren stepped out, Levi wrapping a towel around his waist and guiding him out to Hanji. She patted the examination bed and Eren dropped down on it  
"I'm going to change, don't let him keel over while I'm gone"  
Hanji giggled at her friend, it looked like he'd jumped into the shower with Eren and she was dying to ask, instead she busied herself taking Eren's vitals, frowning at his low blood sugar.  
"Eren... when's the last time you ate?"  
"Whenever I ate with you last..."  
"That was like days ago! No wonder you're sick! Wait here!"  
Eren wondered where she thought he'd go? He felt gross and was only in a towel... well he could always go visit Mikasa and Armin, he hadn't seen them for days... Mikasa would probably be pissed. Laying down, he nuzzled into the cold pillow. He must of dozed off as he woke to Levi shaking him, he blushed as he realised the towel had slipped down and his arse had been hanging out  
"Where's Hanji?"  
"She went to get lunch..."  
"Spoilt brat"  
"Levi! He's hardly spoilt, he hasn't eaten in daaaaays"  
"Eren. Really?"  
Eren nodded  
"Right, get dressed and eat. Hanji get everything organised, alright"

*  
Eren stared at the plans, something was gnawing at the back of his mind, something familiar, but at the same time he couldn't be sure he wasn't confusing it with his nightmares.  
"C-can we go there... I don't know... but..."  
"Erwin's not going to approve that... not without any information..."  
Eren bit his bottom lip, should he lie and say he did remember...  
"Tch, we'll just go without him... what do you say Eren? Up for a little rule breaking"  
Eren stared at him, he was already on thin ice... but now he knew what the USB held... he had to know  
"Levi, you can't! You'll both get in the shit! Eren might even get locked up... or worse..."  
"Or we just tell Erwin..."  
"If we do that, then he can't claim plausible deniability, if something goes wrong"  
"Why don't we just tell him you're taking me out for an experiment?"  
Levi glared at him, while Hanji smiled  
"See, he's cute and smart!"  
"There's still the gps in the car... if they already know about that place..."  
"I imagine that since Grisha disappeared, they would have already tossed the place..."  
Eren coughed slightly. The food was sitting uncomfortably in his stomach. Hanji placed her hand to his forehead  
"Well, we aren't going today, so that'll give us time to think. Eren, you should go back to bed for now, ill come wake you when we think of something..."  
Eren shook his head, he didn't want the choices made to get the pair in trouble. If he had his keys, he'd just go by himself.  
"Go back to bed brat, you're no good to us like this..."  
The look Levi was giving him left no room for argument. He slipped from the chair and walked towards the examination bed  
"Tch. Go sleep in my room, no one will bother you there"  
Eren didn't say anything. He was fine with sleeping on the examination bed, but apparently they didn't want him around. Eren couldn't help but feeling even shittier, he stalked off to the room he shared and flopped down on Levi's bed. Fuck it, the floor was too far away.

When Levi came to check on Eren, he couldn't help glaring, the brat had taken over his bed and kicked off all the blankets. Levi could see the dampness spots Eren had left on the sheet and sighed, why was he putting up with all of this again...?

He pulled the blankets into a pile, taking them to be washed, laying Eren's own blanket over him, if the brat didn't look so peaceful Levi would have evicted him to the floor. Hanji was off briefing Erwin, it was Hanji's whining in the end that made Levi agree. They'd also agreed to Mikasa and Armin, Hanji had insisted that Eren needed his friends support.

With the washing being taken care of, Levi took the time to clean his room through, he did everything but vacuum, not wanting to wake Eren, they planned to leave at first light the following day... provided Eren's fever had broken by then.

*  
Eren mumbled a weak hello as Mikasa pulled him into a tight hug, he could practically feel the glare she was shooting over his shoulder to where Hanji and Levi stood waiting. Hanji was driving today, so they were using Eren's car. Levi didn't trust her with his. When Mikasa finally let him go, the three piled into the back of Eren's car, Eren in the middle, by Mikasa's insistence.

Hanji connected Eren's iPod and turned the music right up, Levi kicked her leg and she just grinned back. 

*  
The streets of Shinganshima had been cleared for the most part, regular sweeps of the city were conducted as a training exercise for recruits, it'd helped that the three teens had grown up there, even if it had been on the outskirts.

Eren found he knew the way to the lab, but he wasn't sure exactly how, he supposed it'd been from when his dad worked there... maybe... most likely...  
The lab was in a nondescript white building, the government must have removed any signage at some point, Hanji parked by the front door and they piled out. Eren eyed the thick chain holding the front door closed, but Hanji was prepared, appearing with a set of bolt cutters.

That's when it all went down hill. The second the door was opened, the undead began to pour out, most dressed in what seemed to have been at one time, white lab coats. Now they were smeared with god only knows what.  
"Back in the car!"  
Levi's tell brought Eren back to reality, he shoved Mikasa and Armin forward, his friends climbing into the car. Eren closed the door behind them, turning to face the horde.  
He needed to know what had been going on inside the facility.

Bringing his hand to his mouth he bit down, the zombies around him lost interest almost immediately, he surged into the facility. He could hear Levi yelling at him from the SUV and the gun fire as the zombies fell behind him, he didn't stop, instead he flicked on his flashlight and delved into the deep.

He didn't know why, but he found himself falling to a route that seemed familiar to his body, like he'd walked it a hundred times before. He passed by the broken elevators, and headed down the stairwell. 3 floors down and then across the first lab and through the double doors, he could hear his fathers voice in his head.

His body was shaking by the time he actually pushed the doors open, terror built in his chest. An undead woman grabbed him from behind, sinking her rotten teeth into his arm, he staggered backwards and yanked free, the woman still moving towards him, growling and snarling in a fashion... well that's what he'd always assumed the rasping noises they made were supposed to be. Grabbing the woman's head he spun her into the wall, smacking it against the allready bloodied tiling until she finally stopped.  
He moved past the filing cabinets and broken fridges, all pillaged before, even the desks and work benches had been flipped. Eren made his was through the chaos, arming himself with a knife he found along the way. The blade was rusted, it wouldn't be any good in a real fight. Finally he came to a stop, an ordinary white bookcase in front of him, reaching out he pulled it down from the wall, revealing a concealed door. He opened it and stepped in. 

Dust swirled across the beam of yellow light emitted by the torch, he could feel the blood running from his mouth, it felt like he was drooling and wanted to wipe it away, he didn't understand how he was still able to keep his mind so clear like this.  
"Eren!"  
He flinched, he'd hoped his friends would have just left him, or that Levi would have dragged them off. He tried to reply before realising he couldn't. Oh well. They'd find him...

This room hadn't been tossed, the filing cabinets sat staring at him, almost like they were welcoming him back. He shone the light around the room, he needed to revert back, but wasn't sure how. He'd have to wait for Hanji, but he didn't want to. He moved forward, a bed sat in the middle of the room, it was so disgustingly cliche. He had to tiptoe slightly to get up onto it, the dirty and dust clinging to his skin, it didn't bother him though, after all he was covered in his own blood.

He closed eyes, forcing himself to remember. All that came to mind was his father standing over him, injection after injection. His father talking to someone... it was a messed up blur. But he was certain now, his nightmare wasn't a nightmare. It was reality... a reality he'd forced himself to forget...   
"Eren?"  
His eyes opened, a rasping coming from his mouth, Levi pulled Mikasa and Armin back from him, Eren wanted to laugh... for all their talking, they didn't trust him at all. He raised his flash light and shone it towards he cabinets, Hanji gave a nod and moved towards them. Finding them unlocked, she started on the first draw. It was practically empty, just a single file inside, the label reading Yeager, Eren.  
"Levi..."  
"Take it all Hanji. Everything there. Mikasa and Armin, sweep this office, make sure she leaves nothing behind. Eren?"  
Eren moved his torch towards Levi to indicate he understood  
"There's still someone of those undead bastards left, we need to clear them out"  
Eren slipped off the table. He held out the knife he'd found and Levi rolled his eyes before handing him his second handgun.

Levi motioned for Eren to take the lead, the teen ducking in front of him and began sweeping forward. Eren recognised someone of them, some seemed more rotten than others, he felt guilty for shooting them, he got to live, while they got to rot.  
"We're done!"  
Eren heard footsteps running up behind them, he forced himself not to turn around. He could hear the blood pumping through their veins, his movements stopped, he realised he wanted to bite, to rip and tear. He lowered the gun and forced it back into Levi's hands.   
"Eren?"  
"I think he's trying to say he's starting to lose consciousness..."  
Eren nodded, coughing up thick dark blood, it landed on Levi's chest and the man glared.  
"Eren, I have a tranq gun with me..."  
"You can't just tranquillise him!"  
Eren nodded, the bloodlust growing. He wanted Hanji to hurry up. Pulling out the gun, she lined up her shot. Mikasa still against it shoved Hanji sideways and the shot missed Eren.   
"You idiot!"  
Mikasa moved towards Eren and Eren backed away, raising his hands, trying to tell her to stay back.  
"Mikasa, stop, he's trying to tell you to stop..."  
Trust Armin to be the voice of reason, Eren nodded, trying to get her to see reason  
"Eren, I know you, you're my best friend... come back to us... all have to do is try"  
Eren fell to the ground, Mikasa moved in to grab him, Levi grabbed the girl and pulled her away, she didn't seem to realise that Eren had nearly snapped at her fingers, the man could see the teen struggling hard and loosing  
"Hanji, have we got any more tranq darts?"  
"No... that was it... I didn't expect to miss with the one we had"  
Levi rolled his eyes, he looked around for something to use... eyes settling on Hanji's jacket  
"Hanji, give me your jacket..."  
Hanji stripped it off quickly and passed it over, Levi took the rusty knife Eren had given him and started to shred the jacket into strips, leaving a thick hunk to use as a gag. He was less than impressed with Mikasa, couldn't she see how badly Eren was suffering. 

Eren snapped at Levi, but Levi ignored it, he took the chance and stuffed the thick piece of jacket into Eren's mouth, taking the teens wrists, when he tried to pull it out, he bound them tightly with the jacket strips, Eren struggled, but wasn't able to free himself. Levi pulled him up and dragged him forwards. Hanji moving to take point, Mikasa and Armin behind Levi and Eren.

It was slow going, Eren still struggling to escape, but finally they reached Eren's SUV, popping the boot, Levi pushed Eren in. Mikasa moved towards him and Levi finally exploded at her, telling her she was a stupid bitch for making Eren suffer. Armin said nothing as Mikasa looked to him for help. He hadn't wanted to see Eren tranquillised, but knew that's what Eren wanted. Mikasa was letting her own feelings get in the way and Eren had paid the price.

Hanji drove slowly past the undead, she'd have to send word to Shinganshima base that the city needed another sweep. Hanji was now seated in the back with Armin, Mikasa placed in the front so she wouldn't be tempted to try free Eren. Eren fell quiet not long out of town, Hanji turned to find he was completely out of it and let out a small thankyou. She hated seeing him struggle.

He'd reverted back to human by the time they finally got back to base, though still covered in his own blood. Levi dismissed Mikasa and Armin, the blonde teen had to Mikasa away and Levi was more annoyed with her than he'd been with Jean. It was clear she was in love with Eren, but nothing Eren had said or done lead him to believe the feelings were reciprocated... in fact if he was to believe Hanji, it would mean that Eren didn't like girls anyway.

He pushed the mental image of a very naked Eren from his mind, he had to admit the kid was nicely built and his eyes were just ridiculous, who ever he ended up with would be lucky... provided they all lived long enough to see it. Picking up the unconscious teen, he pulled the gag from Eren's mouth, using the bloodied cloth to try clean away some of the blood Eren had dribbled from his mouth. He next freed Eren's arms, the bruising fading in seconds, almost like Eren had never been bound at all. He left the bits of jacket in the back of Eren's SUV, he'd deal with it later, for now he had to get Eren cleaned up and then they all needed to take a good hard look at what they'd found at the lab.


	4. 4

Levi sighed quietly into the hot water that was as cascading over his naked form. The mission to the lab would have gone so much better if he hadn't brought Eren's two friends... well Armin seemed alright, but Mikasa... sure she was skilled, but she let her emotions get the better of her and Eren was still unconscious thanks to it.  
Levi cast a glance to where he'd left Eren, propped up against the corner of the shower wall, he was now blood free, though still out of it. They were both men, and it's not like Eren didn't know he'd seen him naked, and Eren seemed to trust him enough to let him help... he shook his head. Why was he justifying his own actions to himself?

Turning the shower off, he once again sighed. He left the shower stall and grabbed two towels, first donning his and then helping Eren. He dried the teen and dressed him quickly, before taking care to do the same for himself. He once again took Eren up into his arms, they really needed to work on Eren staying conscious in his undead form, as well as shifting back to human. It still confused the hell out of Levi that something dead could just come back like it was nothing... well there were side effects, but still...

*  
Hanji had dragged Erwin to her lab, the pair were huddled near her computer when Levi carried Eren in, frowning at the guilt on the pairs face. They'd obviously not waited for Eren. He felt a twinge of pain, for the teen, it wasn't fair that everyone knew about his life but him. He glared at the pair until they moved away, Hanji lifting her hands as a sign of surrendering  
"Both of you... Get out... you can come back again when he wakes up"  
Erwin opened his mouth, and Hanji looked outraged  
"Nope, its Eren's life, he has the right to know first and we keep making all these decisions for him, only to say sorry for not including him and promising next time we will. This is your punishment..."  
Hanji's hands moved to her mouth, for a moment she looked like she wanted to laugh... Erwin shook his head, Levi knew he was about to protest, but didn't stand down. After a long moment, Erwin moved away with Hanji following him. Levi crossed and locked the door behind the pair, before moving over to close what they'd been looking at, it wasn't like he wasn't curious, but Eren was a human... and the brat deserved some privacy.

Levi looked around Hanji's lab, he decided to sink down on Hanji's makeshift bed in the end, wincing at the thought of how long it would have been since she last washed the blankets... he forced it from his mind and closed his eyes, if Eren was sleeping, then he may as well try.

*  
Eren woke shortly after, bolting to the bathroom before returning and mumbling an embarrassed apology to Levi, the older man must surely be tired of cleaning up after Eren's messes by now. Levi brushed the apology aside, he'd woken just a few moments before Eren and his mind was still a little foggy.  
"Eren, come look at what we got from the lab. Hanji and Erwin already started too, but I kicked them out... you deserve to know your past before they do..."  
Eren felt a surge of gratitude towards Levi, it seemed that despite Hanji's best intentions, the woman just couldn't help her curiosity. She didn't realise how shit she sometimes made him feel.  
Levi had moved to Hanji's main computer so Eren did the same, pulling a chair over and peering at the files spread in front of it in apprehension. Levi asked if he was ready and Eren nodded, flicking open the file.

It was his whole life, everything from birth. His weight, his height, his blood pressure and blood sugar levels. Everything. Eren felt his blood run cold, why... why did they have all this...? Why was it is all his fathers handwriting? The next few pages were over about various injections, different things and compounds that made no sense... he pushed back from the desk, trying to remember how to breathe. He felt Levi's hand on his back, running firm circles while speaking at him, Eren couldn't make the words out. It was a good 10 minutes before he felt the pressure lessen in his chest and he could take a big breath in. What the fuck was going on?  
"Eren...?"  
Eren turned to look at Levi, the man clearly concerned. He nodded slowly and sat up straighter  
"There's DVDs in here too..."  
"I want to see..."  
"Eren..."  
"I want to see"  
Eren's voice was cold and strained. Maybe if he saw, he'd understand...  
Levi pushed the button next to the computers DVD tray and it slid out, he placed the disc labelled 1 inside, a few moments later VLC opened.

The video was of a very young Eren, Levi would say no more than 5 or 6. He was strapped down, scientists in crisp white lab coats walking around. A man walked into the cameras range and Eren let out a small gasp, Levi figured that it must've been Grisha. The man leant in and whispered into Eren's ear, the boys eyes widened in fear, and a needle was pushed into his thin arm. Eren's body began to twitch and fit, no one stepped in to help him. Levi hit fast forward, he couldn't see them hurt the kid.  
The next video was the same, and the one after that and one after that. Not once did they help. Levi ejected the disc and grabbed the next. Eren was older in this one.   
"Do you remember any of this?"  
Eren shook his head, he didn't trust himself to speak.  
Levi watched, he wished he could kill them all, who the fuck in their right mind did this shit to a kid.  
They watched the video on fast forward, Levi wanted it over with, he couldn't imagine how Eren felt and he couldn't bring himself to look at the teen. He slowed the video, this one seemed different, Eren's body seemed different, he realised what it was. The kid had blood pouring from mouth  
"Turn it off"  
"Eren, I..."  
"Turn It Off!"  
Eren shouted the words, dissolving into sobs. He was nothing more than an experiment, they'd done this to him on purpose.  
Levi pushed the DVD button again and the disc was ejected, he slipped back into Eren's file, not knowing what to say. There were another 3 discs and Levi had a feeling they'd find more answers... but Eren wasn't ready for it. 

Eren pushed away from the desk, his sobs hurt and his head felt like it was being split in two. He couldn't be here. Not right now. His shaking form crossed the lab and he fumbled with the lock before realising it was locked, it took him a moment to figure out how to unlock it, Hanji and Erwin nearly falling through the door as he opened it. That was the final straw. He took off running, not caring where his feet took him, he'd had enough. His father hadn't cared for him at all, he'd been nothing more than an experiment since day one. He wondered if his mother had known, she'd worked at his lab. Had they loved him?  
"Eren!"  
Eren heard Jean voice behind him, that was all he needed, he didn't stop, still not knowing where he was going. 

By the time he stopped running he was completely lost on the base, he seemed to be in some kind of dump or something, broken and discarded materials around him. He laughed, a hollow cold laugh, this place was filled of trash and things so easily discarded, like him. Looking around he found an old piece of iron rod, the end was sharp and slanted. Maybe if he did enough damage in his undead form, they wouldn't be able to help him. He'd just die. Did he really have a right to be alive? 

Holding the rod in his right hand, he bit into his left, blood began to dribble from his lips, he took the end of the rod and lined it up, stabbing it hard into his guts over and over, he tried to scream, but nothing came out. This only compounded his frustrations. His father, the great scientist, the man who'd lead the research when the virus started... god he wanted to hate him, but he couldn't... he stumbled forward, wounds finally taking there toll, he slumped over the iron rod, the metal sliding through his flesh. That was how Levi found him.

Levi had waited long enough to tell Hanji and Erwin not to watch the DVDs. Not until he was back, the file on the other hand was fine, he ignored their questions, stating he had to find Eren, he worried for the teens mental state. He was shit with people, but knew first hand how badly betrayal hurt. That kid was probably shattered to pieces at the moment. Unsure where to look, he just started. It was already after sundown when he finally found the teen, running over he realised what Eren had done. The kid had torn his stomach to shreds, not to mention the fucking pole running through him. Medical training told him to leave it, but Eren blew everything they thought they knew out of the water. Levi cradled the slumped teen, taking the rod, he slid it through Eren's flesh, wincing at the bloody gunk that spilled out. Eren needed help... more help than Levi could give him, but he couldn't stand the idea of leaving Eren in the base rubbish dump like he was apiece of trash. The kid was human.   
He looked around, no one would even notice him all the way out here... he stripped his shirt, ripping the fabric like he'd done the jacket, the two thick wads placed over the hole through Eren's body, it was awkward but he managed to pull Eren up, using his chest to put pressure on the front wound and both hands on the back, Eren's legs loosely around Levi's waist. Hanji was good, but she was no surgeon... and that's what Eren needed. He'd have to take Eren through to Hanji's and send her to get Moblit, he had more medical training then anyone else Levi knew, but carrying Levi through base to him would cause all sorts of trouble. 

*  
Eren was still losing blood as Levi laid him down, Hanji was already off to find Moblit, while Erwin helped Levi get an IV running into Eren's arm. The kid had really done a number on himself and Levi would honestly be surprised if he survived... but he couldn't blame Eren, not for this... the lab yes, but this no. This was all his piece of shit fathers fault.

Upon Hanji's return and Moblit's arrival, both men were kicked out. Levi had to be dragged out by Erwin, he fought his commander every step, struggling in vain against the taller man. Erwin slammed the door firmly behind them both, ordering Levi to go clean up, Levi finally realised he was drenched from head to toe in Eren's blood. He forced himself to calm down and stalked away from Erwin, it wasn't until he was standing in the shower that the full weight of what had just happened sunk in, Levi crumpling to the floor as his stomach rolled and vomited violently, the abuse Eren and suffered hit a little too close to home. Eren had been lucky, something had hidden away those memories, where as Levi remembered everything that had happened at the hands of his uncle... and others. Angrily he slammed his hand down against the tiles, over and over, why the fuck did he let Eren in, what was it about the kid that had him so caught up in him... why couldn't the not care... 

A rough knock on the door made him jump, he rose angrily and stalked over and threw open the bathroom door, Erwin stood there in shock for a moment, before looking away and shaking his head.   
"Put some clothes on Levi, we need to talk about what happen"  
Levi had never had the whole "we need to talk" cliche conversation, he'd never felt comfortable enough with anyone to ever consider dating. He wondered if the sick feeling he had in his stomach was similar to what others felt. He skipped clothing and after turning the taps off, wrapped a towel around his waist. He crossed his room and sat down on his bed, waiting on Erwin to start... he didn't   
"Does this have something to do with those DVDs you told us not to watch?"  
Levi winced at Erwin's bluntness, he knew damn well it did  
"They were experimenting on him. Since he was a kid. His father was on camera, injecting him with some shit"  
Erwin nodded  
"And Eren freaked"  
"Yep... looked around the base for him and found him in the old rubbish dump. He'd already done that to himself"  
"I'm taking him out of your care. This ain't the first time he's tried to kill himself. He needs to be under constant surveillance, and you need to be out in the field instead of baby sitting"  
"Erwin. No offence, but fuck off. Eren doesn't want to die, he's just acting out because he's hurt and confused. He thought he was a normal kid, and then maybe his father was involved. Now he knows for sure he is and that he did this to him. He's gotta be doubting everyone. That lab was a government lab. I wouldn't be surprised if more than one person knew Eren's past and they've already made one attempt. He probably thinks we're all in it. Locking him up is only going to make this worse... that's if he even fucking survives"  
"Then we'll have Hanji keep him sedated. He is a risk"  
"He's a risk and a kid. He was experimented upon. He needs help, not to be locked away"  
Erwin sighed   
"Levi you've let this kid get too close. If he survives, he's going into isolation and that's the end of it. I'll send someone for his stuff"  
Levi glared as Erwin turned and left. The man had no fucking clue. Erwin had been born into a white bread life, never having to fight for anything. Levi wasn't going to let this drop.

*  
Hanji and Moblit worked late into the night and next day, Eren had required enough transfusions to nearly drained their supplies. The damage Eren had done, and being self inflicted it wasn't healing. It'd be some kind of miracle if Eren survived the day, then there was the risk of sepsis setting in. He'd be laid up for weeks.

Hanji looked down at Eren's form, she desperately wanted to know what had driven Eren to such extremes, it was so much worse than his previous attempt, that looked like child's play in comparison... and then there was Levi. She knew the man had become fond of the kid. He'd never have taken such care of him if he didn't, she regretted encouraging the relationship between the two.

Moblit moved to sink down on Hanji's make shift bed, the man exhausted from the marathon surgery, and not game to leave in case something happened. Hanji busied herself by showering and sitting to reread Eren's file, the words in it seemed unreal. Grisha had developed the virus, he'd cultivated it in Eren and injected the boy with various variants. Her eyes fell on the DVDs, Levi had told her not to watch, but she had to, she had to know.

Popping open DVD drive, she started with the first disc... she could see why Eren had tried to end it all. Reading it had been one thing, but this... this was too far. She skipped forward to the last disc, watching as Eren transformed into the undead, she watched as he snapped his restraints, she watched as he tore the throat out of the nearest scientist... she watched as Pixis watched the whole thing unfold. This thing went deeper than they could ever suspect... and now she knew... that meant there was a risk her own life would be in danger, she doubted the government would like it if it got out that they'd created the virus, that it was their fault millions had died. She ejected the disc, but didn't slip it back inside Eren's file. It wasn't safe. She spun around slowly, trying to locate a safe place for the disc, it was too risky to keep it on herself, but if they suspected her, they'd certainly toss her lab. Taking two tissues she wrapped the disc, she needed to hide somewhere no one would look, somewhere that wasn't her lab, and wouldn't be seen on cameras. She slipped into her bathroom, it's have to be in here. She pried at the bathroom mirror, but it didn't budge, the toilet and shower offered no hiding space either. It was cliche, but she was desperate now. She slid the bottom draw free of the bathroom cabinet, sliding the disc into the open slot below, and saying a small prayer that it wouldn't be found.

Her next move was return to her lab, she dialled through to Levi's extension, speaking clearly and hoping Levi would realise she was behaving abnormally, she told him how Eren was going to die, how he should come say his last goodbyes. The man didn't response and the line went dead. It was only minutes later that the door to her lab was kicked in. 

*  
Levi's blood ran cold as he listened to Hanji's words, something was off with her, he couldn't quiet tell what. He pulled his clothes on, his hands shaking... he didn't know why... he'd lost comrades before so he couldn't understand the sick feeling in his stomach. It wasn't like he enjoyed the fact they'd died, he hated it, each death hurt... but never like this. He felt like he'd failed Eren, like everyone else in the kids life he'd let him down. His feet felt like lead as he finally shuffled towards Hanji's lab. He almost turned back, but he couldn't do that to Eren, the kid needed someone on his side, even if it was at the very end.

He never expected to find Hanji's lab trashed, his friend on the floor, a nasty gash to the back of her head. Moblit was gone and more importantly Eren. Moving over he hit the emergency button on the wall, not caring about the glass that cut into his hand in the process. He moved back to Hanji's side and placed her in the recovery position, the whole room felt off, he realised that though everything was in its place, it'd all been ever so slightly moved... someone was looking for something... something other than Eren. He moved to Hanji's desk, the file on Eren was gone, he popped open the DVD drive to check, but it was empty... he let out a curse. He'd been too careless, too preoccupied with Eren, of course the government couldn't risk the discs getting out. This whole thing was their fault. A man made virus, released knowing the circumstances.


End file.
